Aminals
by Ash's 1 Fan
Summary: Yeah, I know the titles spelled wrong, that's how it's supposed to be. I know I said I only write AAMRM's, I couldn't resist writing this. Zim and Gir go to a pet store and....different things happen, please, R&R, Thanks!


Aminals  
by: Ash's #1 Fan  
  
"ZZZIIIIIMMM!!! You're home! Finally!" Screamed a very excited Gir.  
  
"Yeah, yeah." was Zim's usual responce as he slammed the door behind him.  
  
"I was so bored today! You know, you really shoulda stayed home from school like I told you to, but nooooo, you just had to go! Anyways, you know what I wanna do, huh, huh, huh? Do ya know?!" Gir asked.  
  
"Do you EVER shut up!?" Yelled Zim, heading towards the toilet to go to his Laboratory.  
  
"But you never said if you knew or not! Guess that means you don't. Hm, guess I'm not as dumb now, you know why? 'Cause you don't know. That must mean..."  
  
"WHAT IS IT ALREADY!!??" Zim turned around, throwing his arms up in the air.  
  
"I wanted to go to the pet store." Gir said.  
  
Zim's one eye lowered in the "thinking mode" way, "Pet...store?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah!" Gir started jumping around the room, "I saw it when I was watching my favorite show today. They have all kinds of little aminals, just like me!"  
  
"I bet that's a nightmare." Zim replied.  
  
"Oh, please, please, please, lets go, Zim! It'll be fun!"  
  
"Uhh, no." Zim started to head farther back for his lab.  
  
But Gir wasn't about to give up. He started jumping up and down around Zim, "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please..."  
  
Zim couldn't take it no more, "ALL RIGHT, ALREADY!! WE'RE GO TO THE PET STORE!!"  
  
"Aww, gee, thanks a lot Zim." Gir said, as they both headed out the door and walked down the sidewalk, "This means a lot to me, you didn't have to take me, but since you're such a great friend, you had to take me right?"  
  
Zim took in a deep breath, making it look like he was gonna say a lot, "No."  
  
"Yeah, ha-ha, you're so funny Zim, and that's why you're my..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Gir, where exactly IS this pet store?" Zim asked.  
  
"Oh, it's right across the street from our house, didn't ya see?" Gir answered.  
  
Zim looked back at their house, then across the street, and sure enough, there it was, "Umm, Gir, why didn't you tell me it was right there BEFORE we got all the way down here?!" Zim yelled in fustration.  
  
"I don't know, why?"  
  
Zim sighed, "Never mind, let's just go back then."  
  
They started walking back and entered the pet store. They walked around, looking at all the pet supplies and animals in cages. While Zim examined all this, his eyes kept on changing position, making one eye small, then the other.  
  
"Look! It's a dog!" Gir suddenly yelled.  
  
Zim looked down and saw a little dog, with huge eyes and huge ears. Zim and the dog both stared at each other for awhile, Zim examining it as closely as he could and the dog just looking up at him in a stupid way.  
  
A couple of seconds later, the dog barked in a high pitched voice and walked closer to Zim.  
  
"AHHHHH!!" Zim yelled, "IT'S GONNA EAT ME!!"  
  
He started running around the room, out of control.  
  
"Oh, Zim, that's so silly." Said Gir, now petting the dog, "They wouldn't let it out of the cage if it ate little aliens."  
  
Zim stopped screaming and running and looked at Gir petting the dog, "Yeah, I guess you're right...for once."  
  
"You're a good doggy, aren't you? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!" Gir said, talking to the dog like it was a baby, "You know Zim, it kinda looks like me."  
  
"Yeah, that's what got me scared." Zim said.  
  
"Um, Zim, what's it doing..." Said a somewhat scared little Gir.  
  
Zim looked down and saw that the dog was walking around Gir, sniffing him.  
  
"Eww..." Said Zim, disgusted, "You would think you smell too bad for the dog to sniff you, it should be dead by now."  
  
The dog circled Gir a couple more times, then started licking Gir.  
  
"What the..." Started Zim, both of his eyes widening.  
  
A lady comes over that works at the pet store then, "If you're wondering what she's doing, she's..." She started to whisper in Zim's ear. As she went on, his eyes kept getting bigger.  
  
She got done and started laughing histarically, "So ya see...HAHAHAHAHAAHAH...if you're doggy's a boy doggy, the girl doggy will make little doggy's...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" She started to walk away, still laughing.  
  
"...Okay...that was disturbing." Zim said, "Come on, Gir, lets go, this place has no use to me."  
  
"No, no! Not yet! We still have more aminals to see!" Gir started to walk away, but the dog kept on falling him. Zim followed behind, impatient on leaving.  
  
"Hey, Zim, what's in there???" Gir pointed up to a window that he was too small to see into.  
  
Zim looked in the window and saw a cat walking around in little circles. Once again, his one eye got small, trying to figure out what the heck that cat was doing.  
  
"Well?..." Gir asked.  
  
Zim didn't answer, yet, he was still watching the cat do continuous circles in one little area. He started to think which was the dumbest, Gir...or that cat.  
  
He looked down at Gir, seeing his big cross-eyed eyes and his tongue sticking out. He looked back in the window at the cat, going around in circles. It started to become a routine, looking back and forth at both at them.   
  
Finally, after some period of time, he came to a conclusion that Gir was, once again, the dumbest. He started to walk away from the window.  
  
"What was in there Zim, you never told me?!" Gir followed behind Zim this time, the dog still following Gir.  
  
"It was an apple." Zim said plainly.  
  
"Can I go back and eat it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay."  
  
All three walked in the back, until they came to cages with birds in them. Zim was planning on walking right past them, but...  
  
"Hello."  
  
Zim turned around, alarmed, "Who said that!?"  
  
"Hello."  
  
Zim flipped his head behind, to his sides, and in front of him, trying to see who's saying it.  
  
"Hello."  
  
Zim finally turned and saw the bird in the cage, looking at him, "Hello." It repeated again.  
  
Zim cautiously moved closer to the bird, "You...talk?"  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hmm...a talking bird...how odd." Zim said to himself.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Zim, say hello back!" Gir said.  
  
"Hello." Zim said to the bird.  
  
"Hello." Answered the bird.  
  
Gir laughed, "I wanna say hello to the bird!" He got a step ladder and climbed up it, to see into the bird cage, the dog on the step below him.  
  
"Hello, I'm Gir."  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Hello."  
  
Zim was getting more annoyed then ever, "ENOUGH!! I'M SURE YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER BY NOW!!"  
  
The bird cocked its head to the side, looking at Zim in a funny way.  
  
Zim lowered his eye (he does the a lot), "What are you looking at?"  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Is that all you can say?! You inferior, little creature?!" Yelled Zim.  
  
"Hello."  
  
The laughing lady walked over to them again, still laughing like a maniac, "HAHAHAHAHAHA, oh dear, do you know anything?! HAHAHAHAHA"  
  
"I know that hamburgers have NO germs on them." Zim replied.  
  
The lady stopped laughing for a second, looking at him oddly, then just started laughing again, "Oh, you're so stupid! HAHAHAHA, birds don't eat hamburgers!! HAHAHAHA!"  
  
"I...didn't say they did." Zim said.  
  
"HAHAHA, these birds are rare! They can say anything you teach them! HAHAHAHA, it can be quite funny sometimes, HAHAHAHA!!" The lady screamed, laughing.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi."  
  
Zim was trying to ignore all the stupidety, "You say they can say anything you teach them? Hmm...interesting, this bundle of feathers may come in handy to me. How much are they?" Zim asked the laughing lady.  
  
"$500 each! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" She started to walk away again.  
  
"$500?!" Exclaimed Zim, "How am I supposed to pay for that!? But I NEED this bird, it will help me take over." He started to think of a way to get the bird, without having to pay for it. He looked up front where the counter was, seeing the lady falling over it, because she was laughing so hard. He looked at Gir, still 'talking' to the bird, and got an idea, "Gir...will you do something for me?"  
  
Gir turned around and looked at Zim, "Sure, anything for my..."  
  
"Great, see that tank with fish inside? I need you to stick your hand...paw in there and act like they're eating you."  
  
Gir went over to the tank and peered inside, "Aw, but Zim, they're only harmless goldfish."  
  
"Well, act like their NOT harmless!" Yelled Zim.  
  
Zim moved the step ladder away from the bird cage and next to the fish tank. He then put Gir on top, "Okay, do it now! And don't take your paw out until you see me walking out the door, understand?"  
  
Gir put his paw to his forehead, "Aiy, aiy, ma'am!"  
  
Zim ignored the remark at the end, though Gir probably didn't even know what he said. Zim went back over to the birdcage and stood beside it, looking innocent, "Do it now, Gir!" He whispered over to Gir.  
  
Gir just stood there for awhile, trying to remember what exactly he had to do. He looked at the fishtank and dipped his paw in the water without even thinking.  
  
Zim kept on waiting for Gir to start screaming, but Gir was just gonna stand there and hold his paw in the water. Finally, Zim lost his patients, "GIR!! SCREAM NOW!!"  
  
"Ahhhhh..." Was Gir's unemotional scream.  
  
Though it didn't sound real, the laughing lady ran back and saw what Gir was doing, "What are you doing?" She asked, her face turning red from trying not to laugh.  
  
"The fish are eating me." Gir said.  
  
The lady looked in the tank and none of the fish was even near his paw, she looked at Gir and started laughing again, "HAHAHAHA, you silly little doggy! You have a wild imagination, don't you? HAHAHAHA!!"  
  
While all this was going on, Zim decided to grab the bird then, he knew Gir wasn't gonna get any farther on this "mission" then what he was doing now.  
  
Zim quickly headed for the door with the bird cage. Gir saw this and took his hand out of the tank, jumping over the laughing lady that was rolling on the ground, followed by the dog. They both left the store, in time to see Zim reach their house. They ran out onto the street without even looking and this big truck was heading right towards them.  
  
Gir saw this, and this is the time when he decided to stop and stare at it, coming towards him. The truck driver hardly saw them at first, but when he did, he immediately swerved to the left and into the pet store.  
  
Gir still stood in the middle of the street, looking at all the excitement. The truck driver got out of the truck and the laughing lady came out of the store. She quite laughing, and was looking at the mess, "What the..." She started...and then started to crack up again.   
  
She started to back out into the street, holding her stomach. As soon as she got out though, a car flew by and knocked her right off her feet.  
  
Gir watched her fly like a bird then land with a splat, then walked into the 'house'.  
  
"Hey, Zim, watcha gonna do with the bird?" Gir asked, going over to Zim.  
  
"It's funny you should ask, Gir, 'cause usually you don't think up such smart questions. I am gonna use this bird...to help me take over the Earth!!" Zim screamed in his dramatic voice.  
  
Gir cocked his head to the side, "How?"  
  
"That..umm..lady said this bird is rare and it can talk if I teach it. All I have to do is get a tape recorder and have it say over and over, 'Surrender to Zim!!' People won't be able to ignore a talking bird, it's too rare."  
  
Gir walked over to the bird and looked up, "Birddd-a!" Gir said it the way Bambi did.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi."  
  
Zim sighed and started walking away, "I'm gonna go work on it now, try to find a recorder, and then prepare to take over all humanity!" Zim disappeared, going into his lab.  
  
Gir watched Zim leave then up at the bird, once again. The bird was scratching and washing itself, "Do you want to play with me?" Gir asked.  
  
This time, the bird completly ignored Gir. But Gir heard a loud, squeaky bark and looked down at the female dog, still standing there, "Do you want to play with me?" Gir asked again, this time to the dog.  
  
The dog barked again, and Gir took it as a yes, "Okay, what do you wanna play?"  
  
"Woof!"  
  
"Good idea." Gir walked over to the catch and sat down, followed by the dog. Gir turned on the TV and a show he never saw came on, "I love this show."  
  
"Woof!"  
  
"Is that your name? Cool, hi, Woof, I'm Gir." Gir introduced himself.  
  
"Woof!"  
  
They continued to watch TV, Woof eventually falling asleep on Gir. Gir looked down at it and 'smiled', "I wonder..." Gir thought to himself, "I wonder if we got any cupcakes."  
  
**********  
  
The next day came, and Zim came into the room where Gir was. Gir and Woof were sleeping soundly together and the bird had its head tucked into its feathers, sleeping, too.  
  
Zim tip-toed over to the bird and put the tape recorder by the cage, snapping it on. Right away, the bird woke up from the sound, "Hello."  
  
"Uh, hi." Zim replied, "I order you to listen to this all day! Don't ignore it, don't do anything!"  
  
Without waiting from a "Hello" reply from the bird, he walked out the door, on his way to school.  
  
Since Zim slammed the door on the way out, Gir awoke to hear the tape recorder and the bird looking at it, yet not seeming to care.  
  
Gir got up, making Woof get up to, and walked over to the cage, "Are you learning?"  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hi."  
  
Gir leaned on the table the cage was on and accidently knocked over the tape recorder, messing up the tape as it fell on the floor, "Ooops."  
  
Gir looked back up, "Oh well, I can teach you then. Zim said that if you keep hearing the same thing over and over again, you learn...poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop, poop."  
  
The bird cocked its head to the side, it seemed to like this word.  
  
"Poop, poop, poop. What is your feathers made of? Poop. What do you eat? Poop. What do you dream about? Poop."  
  
This went on all day, Gir coming up with more and more questions and always giving the same answer. Finally, Zim came home, as soon as Gir stopped talking.  
  
He saw the tape recorder on the floor, "Gir! What have you done?!"  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, I was teaching him to say what you recorded all day." Gir said.  
  
Zim lowered his eye, "Why don't I believe you?...OH NO!! MY PLAN IS RUINED!! AND IT'S ALL...BECAUSE...OF YOU!!" Zim pointed at Gir.  
  
Gir walked over to Zim and held out his arms, "Aww, someone needs a huuug."  
  
Zim just walked away, ignoring Gir, "No! I do NOT need a hug!"  
  
Gir, for once, started to look really sad and started speaking in a choked up voice, "B-but...Zim, don't you believe me? I-I did teach the bird to talk."  
  
Zim noticed Gir's sudden change in attitude and looked sympathetic for a second, but quickly changed back to the mean, action look, "Fine, Gir, I believe you, but I better have a reason for believing you!"  
  
As Zim walked away, Gir turned back to the bird, "Do you remember what that talky thing said?" Gir asked the bird.  
  
"Hello, poop." It responded.  
  
"Close enough." Gir said, positive that that's what the tape recorder said.  
  
Gir walked into the kitchen, followed by (you guessed it) Woof. The day went by, Zim trying to figure out how he will use these 'bird powers' to take over.  
  
***********  
  
"I got it!" Was the first thing Zim said when he woke up the next morning.  
  
He ran into the room, grabbing the birdcage and ran out the door. Gir and Woof were on the couch sleeping again.  
  
Zim got to school pretty quickly and ran into the office, "I would like to make an announcement instead of hearing the boring lectures that you people say in the morning!"  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Said the one secretary, busy filing her nails.  
  
Zim ran into another office room and went up to the microphone, "Testing, testing, 1, 3, 2..."  
  
"You gotta turn it on first." said the secretary.  
  
Zim looked on the side of the microphone and saw a little switch, that said off and on. He flicked it up to on and the microphone gave a loud whistle.  
  
"AHHH!!" The scream echoed throughout the room and all through the school, all the kids covering their ears in classes.  
  
"AHEM!" Zim cleared his throat, "I have a message that will amaze you all! After this is said, you will not look at ANYTHING the same again! The time has come for this big hunk of gas to wither!"  
  
In Ms. Bitters classroom, Dib rubs his hands together in a menacing way, "You'll never get away with this, Zim, but once people find out you're an alien, you will be ruined!! AHAHAHA!" Dib laughed hard in class.  
  
The whole class was looking at him strangely, blinking sometimes, trying to figure out what he was doing.  
  
Dib shrank in his chair, a little embarassed.  
  
Back in the office, Zim was getting over the shock and was tapping on the speaker, listening to the pound for awhile, "Anyways, I have something by my side that is out of this world! You will hear something so rare..so..you get the point, and here it is!"  
  
Zim shoved the microphone to the bird, but the bird just stared blankly at it.  
  
Zim waited, blinking twice, "Ehh...say it!"  
  
The bird looked like it took in a deep breath, then it was about to speak...  
  
"Yes, yes, this is it!" Zim said to himself.  
  
"Hello, poop." The bird finally said.  
  
"AHAHAHA, NOW YOU ALL WILL....wait a sec..." Zim started.  
  
"Hello, poop." It repeated.  
  
Everyone in the classrooms was confused at first, but then started cracking up laughing.  
  
"Ohhh, this is sooo good! You're done for, Zim!!" Dib screamed above the laughing.  
  
Zim felt a little dizzy and was hoping he heard wrong. But once he heard all the halls echoing again, this time from the laughter, he threw his arms up in the air, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
**********  
  
It was after school and Zim was about to enter his house, ready to give Gir the biggest bruise of his life.  
  
Zim opened the door and immediately, Gir jumped into his arms. But wait...this was too small to be Gir...  
  
"Hey, Zim!" The real Gir said, "Guess what?! I'm a father!"  
  
Zim looks around the whole room and sees a bunch of little Gir's and regular dogs with the huge eyes and huge ears.  
  
Zim's eyes got big then he threw his arms up in the air again, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
------------------  
  
**Extra Footage**  
  
Zim walked into his classroom with the bird, and tried to sink into his chair without being noticed, but it didn't work.  
  
"So, Zim! What do you have to say for yourself now?!" Dib asked.  
  
All the kids in the class turned to look at him, waiting for an answer.  
  
"Well...I..."  
  
By now, Dib was about the happiest person on Earth, people were finally gonna realize Zim was an alien.  
  
"I got forced to do it...'cause I was put under a spell by...Harry Potter!" Zim said, hoping people would buy it.  
  
"That is the lamest..." Dib started.  
  
"Oh, well, that makes sense, are you off the spell now?" Asked a girl.  
  
Zim just nodded and put the bird on the floor.  
  
"WHAT?!!?" Dib asked in shock, "How can you believe that?!"  
  
"Can I have the bird?" The girl asked.  
  
"YES!" Zim screamed, "Please! Take it away from me!"  
  
The girl was about to grab the cage from Zim, but Ms Bitters took it, "I don't think so!"  
  
She took the bird out of the cage and tied it to a brick, "There, this is the new hall pass! Since SOMEONE didn't return the old one (the heater), this will HAVE to do! Anyways...now on to learning about life after death..."  
  
------------------  
  
How'd ya'll like it? It was my first Zim fic, and probably my ONLY Zim fic. I just couldn't resist, I'm so obsessed with the show. So, please R&R, thankees! 


End file.
